Today is Valentine's Day. Hubby and I were married on Valentine's Day 1987. That was 38 years ago (We've been together 43 years. And still counting!). We exchanged our vows in a Southampton NY court. It was a busy criminal time in the courtroom that day. The woman who was standing in front of us, on line, was in handcuffs. Her hands were tied behind her back. She was in for a robbery. When it was our turn, a very mean judge looked at the two of us and loudly bellowed "What are you two in here for?" A very frightened me said "Um, judge, we're here to get married. On this Valentine's Day". And with that the entire mood of the court room changed. Everyone started to happily laugh, put a smile on their face and welcomed my soon-to-be husband and I to the court room. The judge himself was the most happiest!
I wore the most perfect wedding outfit: a pair of jeans and a white Angora sweater. It was very cold that morning. After hubs and I exchanged our vows we met a few close friends at the local diner and they and my kids, hubs and I had a great late morning breakfast. After which my kids, our dog, hubs and I jumped into our rented RV and drove down to sunny, WARM, Orlando Florida. We were going to DisneyWorld!
I'll fast forward to how I met my hubby. It was back in 1983 and I was going through a horrific divorce and child custody case. My mother had recently died so I really had no one to help me. My father wanted no part of my divorce. Neither did my younger sister nor my older brother. I had just lost custody of my two daughters in court and I was completely devastated. I lost 65 pounds (because I couldn't eat), was emaciated, broke, no where to live (despite jointly owning a home) and I didn't have a friend in the world.
I did, as my last straw, do the only thing I knew what to do. I prayed to God. I asked Him to help me. Please God, I said, send me a man who is big and strong (because that's what I needed) to help me get my kids back, my money back, my life back and give us a place to live. The very next day, my sister and I were having lunch in an health-food restaurant. Across the room I saw this massive guy (his forearms were bigger than his biceps. He looked like a very handsome Popeye) and I knew instantly that this was the man God had sent me. I immediately told the waitress to fill up his glass of whatever he was drinking (Apple & Eve apple juice) and tell him it was from me.
To make this long story a short story, he came over to my table when he finished his meal. Introduced himself, gave me his card and told me to give him a call sometime. As soon as I got back to my office, I called him. That was a Tuesday. We went out on a date on Thursday. The next day Friday, I moved in with him. That was 43 years ago. We have been together ever since.
When I told him about my predicament, without batting an eyelid he told me he would get my kids back. We only knew each other a few scant weeks! I hired a new attorney, new lawsuits were filed and within 8 weeks I got custody of my children, all my stolen property returned to me from my now ex-husband, half the equity resources from the sale of the marital domain (which netted me enough cash to buy a townhome in another part of town and then eventually a home on an acre of land in Southampton, New York) and my car (240Z Datsun), child support and health care for my kids.
My hero, who was 6.5 years younger than me was admonished by his own mother. She told me her son was too young to marry me (he was 25 years old. I was 32). Well, I asked his mom, how old does your son have to be to marry me? Thirty was her answer (a full five years away) hoping I would give up and eventually her son and I would go our separate ways. Not a chance. We were in love! We lived together and as soon as hubs turned 30, we married. See initial above paragraph!
Today, my most wonderful husband bought me flowers. It's the only time of year I will accept flowers (otherwise I'd get a real plant). My husband has stood by my side through thick and thin. When I was diagnosed with cancer, he quit his job and went to every single medical appointment I would ever have. He took over the cooking, laundry and all the heavy cleaning of the house. He studied my type of cancer and made sure I was getting the best treatment. He was instrumental in raising my two kids. Took over their medical insurance premiums when their own biological father reneged on the original deal. He was there to wipe up the mess whenever they got sick, need non-judgmental drives to some of those teen parties they attended, PTA meetings and would pay 50% of their educational college costs (the girls were responsible for the other 50%). In other words, he really is my angel, sent to me by God himself.
Here's a link to my most favorite romantic love song, sung by Karen Carpenter, "For All We Know". The words say it perfectly for me. Strangers in many ways. Our love may grow, for all we know.
Here's a recent photo of Nick and me: BC (Before Cancer) Two years ago.
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